trying to follow

Wednesday, October 19

on the expression of gratitude

for those with little tolerance for the ramblings of the overly analytic, i recommend not reading the following. for those who enjoy such ramblings, this one isn't the greatest.

sometimes as i and others get off a bus, some of them thank the bus driver. i generally refrain. the way i see it, he is just doing his job. perhaps i would express gratitude if he had waited a few seconds to leave a stop for me to get on, but it seems unnecessary to thank him for driving the bus. i believe there are grounds for complaint in the event that he fails to do his job but fail to see why i should commend him for stopping at my stop.

at the same time, i realize that this sounds insensitive and humbuggish, neither of which i desire to be. i certainly neither condemn friendliness on the part of my peers nor question their motives. rather, i question merely their words. i've considered saying other things to bus drivers, equally friendly things, but am unable to come up with anything that isn't trite ("have a good one", etc.). i am not against positive reinforcement but insist that, on my part, it be genuine and logical.

i experienced similar ambivalence shortly after september 11, 2001. there was an outpouring of gratefulness expressed to the new york fire and police departments. while i appreciate their service, do they deserve praise for doing their job? if we express this gratitude, then are we not insisting that inaction would have been a viable option? i feel that a greater debt of gratitude was owed to the volunteers who attended the aftermath of the disaster; in their case, inaction was a viable option.

i desire consistency. if i am grateful that my bus driver drops me off at my stop, then i should be grateful that beavers build dams.

and yet, i know that i am wrong somehow. if my mother were rescued by a firefighter, then i would be grateful. and i would most definitely express gratitude to him, indeed, just for doing his job. this extends. i know that i am encouraged and delighted when people express gratitude to me for things that i'm supposed to do.

the issue remains for me. what actions deserve gratitude? which do not?

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