trying to follow

Sunday, September 11

i wish i knew

i wish i knew if i handled a particular situation correctly today. if i did what God would have done.

it pains me that i must disclose certain information to fully relate this. i feel that in doing so, assuming that i acted correctly, i feel as if i'm getting my reward here, so to speak. however, i feel that wrestling with the issue, and perhaps providing clarity or something else useful to a reader, may be of more significance than a particular reward in heaven. that is, i don't think Jesus is going to hand me two twenties when i get to heaven. i don't know.

so near the end of our service this morning a man came to the church. he was carrying his bible and asking for money. according to him, his mother, who resided in connecticut, had just died, and he and his wife and kids need to get there to bury her. anyway, he was asked to leave by some of the men of the church. i spoke with him and decided to buy him a tank of gas. however, he told me that another church had just filled up his tank and that he would need to fill up again before he made it the entire way to connecticut. that's enough of his story. i rode with him to food lion, purchased gum and got $40 back. i gave it to him.

he got on my nerves. first of all, when i returned from the grocery store, he was trying to get money from a lady in the parking lot. secondly, he praised me. thirdly, he tried convincing me that he is a saint.

i'm left wondering what i did right and what i did wrong. i don't believe him. he wasn't drunk or anything, but he talked entirely too much. in any event, his story is not the kind that can be conveniently verified. i feel sorry for him. not because his mom died, but because of his understanding, or lack thereof, of our Father.

pray for him. his name is angelo.

two things made me give him the money. (1)luke 6:34-35. (2)i'm not comfortable with someone going to church and being turned away. whether he should have been given money, i don't know. but i wish there was something more than "you need to leave."

one other thing that really got on my nerves. he tried pulling the race card. i set him straight. i firmly yet lovingly assured him that a white man seeking money claiming the same circumstances would have received the same treatment from my brothers of the congregation. God made one race of humans. why can't people understand that?


At 12:03 AM, Blogger Rosa Benito said...

A real enlightening blog. Don't stop now. I'm sure you'd be interested in How to buy & sell everything, like music on interest free credit; pay whenever you want.

At 11:10 PM, Blogger serenitynow said...

dude, if you can delete these stupid ads you should, they make me angry, i'm trying to deal with that anger in a healthy way,

i'm not gonna give you the answer (i do know it tho, haha) i know that i feel most comfortable in giving them food because that can't hurt, i'm not sure if it's about my comfort, we're sposta be gentle as doves and shrewd as snakes (i hope i got that right, don't wanna misquote Jesus), there is more to be checked out, anyways, i've been in your shoes before wondering myself, sometimes i think we do just assume things about what Jesus would do (for a Klondike bar, hoho) and we're wrong, Jesus wasn't a middle class white american who'd necessarily agree with how we think things should be

earlier you said God was showing you stuff from what you wrote, now I am showing you stuff, what a treat


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