trying to follow

Thursday, March 23

four months later...

i return because of the same reason i first came: phil webster.

for whatever reason, i stumbled upon phil's blog for the first time in a while. it's good to read his thoughts, even though much of what i read was months old. he was/is a catalyst for my spiritual curiosity.

i feel as if i'm growing even though my "q. t." is not "where it should be." i feel that i'm discovering that what Jesus taught really is radical, and that He expects us to heed. but am i getting that from Him? not during a 15-minute (or longer for the more mature) period each day. i struggle most in my "prayer life." i wonder, with phil, if that's what it's all about. the alternative, i suppose, is the hokey pokey.

so i checked out phil's book list. i'm a bit jealous that it's much longer and more respectable than mine. it's kinda like he recommends bach and such, and i recommend britney spears. at any rate, my book list contains all the Christian books i've read. it makes me wonder if phil has read any books that aren't on the list. of course he has. but that just means he reads much, much more than i do.

so i like a couple of "pop" Christian books: the life you've always wanted (ortberg), soul survivor (yancey), and seizing your divine moment (mcmanus). i wonder what phil would think of them.

so i'm applying to a couple of seminaries. but i don't think i want to be a minister. i think God has other plans, and i think the kingdom will benefit from my education. who knows? my guess is that even if God doesn't "have other plans" and it's just i who does, He can still use my more educated self. i grow weary of my own ramblings.

i set out to write something profound and have only convinced myself that i am unable.


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